When I was in high school, I distinctly remember someone saying that I was “good at everything”. Although I don’t think I intended for my response to be humorous at the time, I matter of factly replied with the following:
“I’m not good at everything. I just don’t do things that I’m not good at.”
My poor, anxious, perfectionist self has never done well with not being good at things. As my husband recently pointed out, not only do I expect to not suck at something I have never tried before, but I expect to be able to master it instantly and get frustrated when I don’t. I’m working on this.
Two new hobbies I’ve picked up in the last year that are forcing me to reckon with this part of myself are skiing and roller derby.
Aside from cross country skiing a couple of times as a kid (which I have now learned is more correctly referred to as Nordic skiing), I had never put on a pair of skis until I was 35. I decided to join my husband and some friends on a ski/snowboard trip last year and surprised myself with the attitude in which I approached the experience. I opted not to go for the full week, which was a wise choice since I had zero experience, but I figured I would go for a few days and just see how it went. If I caught on quickly and enjoyed it, great! If I hated it and decided to hang out in the lodge drinking hot chocolate while everyone else hit the slopes, also fine!
I was not a natural, and it took two lessons my first day to get me even mildly comfortable on skis, but I still enjoyed it. Something about being outside in the sun, snow, and relative quiet of Mt. Bachelor helped me to embrace the experience and made me want to keep trying. I only skied for three days during that short trip, but once we moved to Bend, I vowed to really make an effort and take it up as a hobby. I took another lesson my first day back to make sure I hadn’t forgotten everything I learned 10 months earlier, and was pleasantly surprised that it came back to me pretty quickly. Since then, I’ve gone skiing 20 times, often on my own. I’m still not making as much progress as I would have hoped, and I am due for another lesson, but I also realize that I am now warming up on trails that terrified me a few months ago. I was on the mountain almost every weekend from New Year’s Eve until Memorial Day, and I am already looking forward to when things start back up on November/December.
Photo by Chris Boese on Unsplash
Roller derby is something that I have contemplated for more than a decade. I was in college when the movie Whip It came out and roller derby experienced a resurgence of sorts. I was living in Indiana at the time, and would often frequent bouts for Naptown Roller Girls and Circle City Socialites, and still have the merch to prove it. It was a fun, punk rock, empowering atmosphere, and I loved being a spectator, but that’s where it stopped for me. I was never athletic growing up. Sure, I took dance classes and did alright, but I also tried soccer, volleyball, and tennis with less than stellar results. It still pains me that to this day, I am a terrible runner, despite my father being a track and cross country coach, and my brother being a soccer player who now runs ultra-marathons for fun. Sports were not something I had natural talent for, so I avoided them at all costs.
However, when I moved to Bend, I saw that there was a local roller derby team. When I booked an appointment with a new hair stylist, I saw in her profile that she played. We chatted about it for a while, and she was surprised by not only my genuine interest, but the fact that I knew the rules to the sport. She encouraged me to get involved, and I saw on Instagram that the team was holding a new skater orientation in just a week or so. The post said “Learn to Roller Skate” and listed learning basics like good skating form, different ways to stop, how to fall safely, etc. It seemed like a great opportunity to meet the team and learn more about them, as well as make some new connections in town.
What I discovered when I showed up was that this wasn’t simply a one night recruitment event, but was actually the first night of an 8-week program to learn these basic skills. After the program, skaters would be required to take and pass a skills assessment before leveling up and learning contact skills and the rules of the game. I was definitely nervous, since I had probably been on roller skates only once or twice since I was a kid. I wasn’t good at it even when I was younger, but I strapped into my loaner gear for the night and gave it a try anyway. And you know what? I fell a few times, but not nearly as much as I expected, and I actually enjoyed learning some new skills. I signed up for the Freshmeat program, thinking that if I came out of it knowing how to skate, I would be pleased, and anything else would be icing on the cake. At the end of the two month program, I took my skills assessment to level up to Cold Cuts…. and failed. I was bummed, but not surprised. What did come as a surprise is that I still wanted to stick with it. I signed up for another round of Freshmeat, put in another two months of work, and passed (barely). I am now in Cold Cuts and starting to learn how to hit, block, and even train as a NSO, or non skating official. I’ll keep working on polishing the basic skills that I have learned as I add new ones to my repertoire. It will still be a while before I’m at a level where I am eligible to play, but I’m in it for the long game.
It has taken me more than 30 years to realize that perhaps I don’t need to be good at something instantly in order to enjoy it. I’m really beginning to embrace exploring new hobbies and learning more about myself in the process.
Featured Photo by David McMullin
